| Coping With Infertility For many couples, infertility comes as a shock. It compromises life goals and challenges relationships. Treatment can be expensive and physically and emotionally exhausting. Here are some suggestions for dealing with the stress of infertility in a positive way, by taking back control of your life as you undergo treatment or explore other options for building your family: Educate yourself.
Take a trip to the bookstore or library; there are many good books on infertility and its treatment. Keep in mind that assisted reproductive technologies are constantly evolving, so look for recently published material. Don't hesitate to ask your healthcare providers questions. Remember that you are the consumer and education is part of the service you are paying for. Talking to other couples who have experienced infertility can also be a good source of information. Participate actively in your treatment.
Write down your questions and concerns before you make a phone call or go to an appointment. Take notes during consultations with your physician including your diagnosis, test results and treatment plan. Your input and feelings are important. Request clarification if you do not understand something. If you are uncertain about the treatment approach your doctor is recommending, ask about other options and the risks and benefits associated with each. Schedule a follow-up consultation if you have completed the prescribed treatment plan without achieving pregnancy. Be assertive.
Say what's on your mind. If you feel anxious, use relaxation techniques to help you gather your thoughts before you speak with your health care provider(s). But don't be too hard on yourself. If you aren't feeling assertive, organized or "together," it's okay. You are going through a difficult time, so give yourself a break. Be an informed consumer.
Keep track of your medications, tests and procedures and the dates and costs associated with each. Review your insurance plan and make sure you are following the guidelines to guarantee maximum coverage. Investigate your state's laws dealing with coverage for infertility treatment. Take care of yourself.
Don't neglect your overall health; eat well, exercise and get enough sleep. Indulge yourself occasionally. If certain situations or individuals make you feel anxious, avoid them whenever possible. Familiarize yourself with stress reduction techniques and use them! Don't let infertility run your life. This may be difficult to do at times, but it is one of the most important things you can do for yourself and your partner. Make an investment in other areas of your life. Have some fun! Pursue activities that give you pleasure and spend time with the people you enjoy. Take a break from treatment.
Decide how long you plan to "take off" and stick to it. Taking a break, even for a month, can be refreshing for both body and mind. Avoid isolation.
Choose carefully who you talk to about your infertility. Consider each individual's level of comprehension and your investment in the relationship. Let the people who care about you know how they can help you. Their support can be invaluable. Take control of your social life.
Be selective about accepting invitations to emotionally charged gatherings like baby showers and holiday parties. Redirect uncomfortable conversations and be prepared with appropriate answers for people who want to make your family planning their business. Keep a journal.
The right way to keep a journal is the way that feels most comfortable to you. It is a safe place to express your thoughts, feelings and dreams. You can share your entries with your partner if you wish or keep it completely private. Consider counseling or a support group.
The empathy and objectivity of a good counselor can help you understand and deal with the intense emotions associated with infertility. Click here for information on choosing a counselor. The counsel of your priest, rabbi or minister can also be helpful. Strength and perspective can be gained by sharing with other couples in an infertility support group setting. You are not alone! Bolster your sense of humor.
Spend some time with someone funny or go see a good comedy. Laughter is not exactly an assisted reproductive technology, but it is still the best medicine! Source: Norbert Gleicher, MD, Gyncor, Inc.
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